I was recently interviewed regarding leadership and how it has changed in the last 20 years. Remember the word spider,
I’ll explain later. The changes we have
seen over the past two generations and have complicated three environments related
to leadership and those being the Home, Work, and The Social
environments.
We start with the home. So, I’m at thanksgiving dinner around a table
of twelve and I see my nephew glancing down occasionally with the random snicker
and look up at his sister across the table.
She would do the same and realized they are communicated with cryptic
messages to a satellite a few hundred miles in space and then back down to
earth when they are only four feet away.
Social skills are now in tweets and IM’s, and it is getting worse and
also transfers to the other environments.
Kids spend so much time with a game controller in their hand, which at
the touch of a button resets the circumstances and gives them an extra
life. I hate to shock these generation but
in the real world there are no reset buttons or extra lives. Kids today expect everything right now
including their food within minutes of making the call but fail to realize
relationships both business and personal take time, effort and real communication
and friendship is not an event it is a process. Look at the average of 5-7 hours
both before work and after work which used to be called family time. How many can say they are involved with an
electronic device rather than thoughtful and constructive communication during
that short time together. No, learning Klingon
while watching Star Trek is not constructive or meaningful in the real world.
Discipline has been thrown out
the window, and God forbid you spank your child for acting like an ass in a
public location because within minutes the video will be on Youtube if you give
the well-deserved subject a tap on the bottom, as you will be labeled and subject
to child cruelty. In my day, if you
called the cops because your dad took a switch to you, they would ask if you
learned anything. You came home from
school, did your homework, went out to play before dinner, had dinner with your
entire family and there were no electronic devices or complaints unless mom
served broccoli as I hated the stuff, then went back out until dark. And now you have 26 year olds still living in
their parents basements, coming home to seclude themselves in the room chatting
and playing video games, texting with their friends while sitting on a couch rubbing their fuzzy
comfort animal to feel good about life.
We have generations failing who lack the social and motivational tools
to be productive in society and we wonder why the suicide rate is so high. The they go on the occasional date with a
group rather than someone because of the “pack” environment which has been
created, sporting the dog or cat hair on their clothing from previously
mentioned comfort animal and wonder why they only have 2-3 really good
friends. And when they do go out they
are threatened with the possibility they could miss the tweet of the century,
only to ignore others and constantly check to make sure you have not been
unfriended by someone in your social heirachy. And the clincher, everyone gets
a reward for participating but God forbid there only is a 1st and 2nd
place trophy because it will tramatize them to where they need a comfort animal
or special food. Sorry people, but in life
and business there are no participation awards only winners and losers. Promotions and opportunities are earned, not
deserved because you feel they should be.
“I just don’t understand why I didn’t get the VP position. I deserved it as an up and coming employee.” “Well,
Bob who got the position has closed several contracts and you have not. He has been with the company for 10 years and
you have been here three months.” “I can’t
believe you said that. My feelings are
hurt and you have no right to criticize me.
I think I need the rest of the day off and some hot coco.” “Well, you go ahead and take the rest of the
day. Come to think of it, why don’t you
take forever off as we don’t need that kind of attitude.” “You can’t fire me, I’ll sue you.” “Fine, have your attorney contact our
attorney, Hell, Freeze, and Over.”
The home environment has changed
and impacted the work environment, which is the second spider in the
equation. My first job at 14 was working
on a rabbit farm, and you can guess what I cleaned up for 75 cents an hour and
was glad to get it. Wages have increased
in the last ten years more than the previous 30 together combined and these
entitled people are not happy with it. Now, someone gets upset they retaliate with a
gun and shoot up an office. When I grew
up many of us in the winter had a shotgun in our vehicle and hunted after school. We all carried knives and no one got shot or
was stabbed. Today if you walk into a school
with a baseball bat you have to lock it up in the school safe instead of being
able to take it in the classroom because it’s not a sports item, it’s a
weapon. People work from home, missing
the interaction with others. They hold video
meetings to earn your business dressed in a shirt and tie, but because of the
camera view you don’t seem them in their underwear. In 1984 the first cell phone was released and
were called the “brick.” If you ever saw
or had one of these you understand and they weighed over two pounds. It cost $3,900 and had a talk time of 30-40
minutes. With today’s phones and
cameras, these younger generations fail to realize that lude photo you took at
a frat party in college now can be found on the web by a potential
employer.
Which takes us to the next
spider on the web being the social environment, which has connections to the
other two environments being work and home.
Now you can see why I mentioned the word spider because each of these is
cross connected with the others on the web of life,. If you dislike someone there probably was no
direct personal interaction outside of social media and it’s easier to just
unfriend them, even though you have known them for years and don’t want the possible
controversy associated with whatever it is. Violence and destruction and protesting is not
the answer. Mix in politics and you have
what I call the circle of strife versus the circle of life. Webster’s definition of strife is the bitter
disagreement over fundamental issues.
Sound familiar? When did it
change the individual rights of some to enjoy a meal or go shopping should
include shouting and cursing of others in a public setting and believes their
rights are more important than someone’s else’s and condemning what a person
does rather than who the person is. Try
at work saying no person can use their cell phone during work time or be on Facebook/Twitter,
realizing you are there to work not for the entertainment within your social
life. Lord forbid you did that as you might
traumatize an employee who now needs additional comfort time because their
behavior was unacceptable and it couldn’t be their fault because they have been
taught there are no winners or losers, just participants. They will tell you this is not fair and you
have hurt their feelings and they have to bring their comfort animal to work
with them in order to cope with the hostile work environment. Get a life people. This is business and there
are no rewinds or comfort foods, no participation trophies or someone else to
blame. Because of the work and home environment
changes, social environments have changed and we speak in metaphors, GIF’s, and
symbols and bits of information instead of a full dialog. Today you may be someone’s mother but you may
be downgraded from BFF for someone else because you took their phone away when
they were not doing what they should have been doing. It’s more important to be liked on social media,
as that status is more about what how people “feel”, than who you are. Get
over it cupcakes, your feelings will not bring you great success or happiness
in the end. Who you "choose" to associate with becomes you. Who you choose associate with can dictate your life. And last and most important, who you choose as friends and associate with limits your perspective on life as being liked become more important than being you. You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends. Both can lead to unsanitary life conditions you allow to be created.
I am positive some
reading this who are in or on the cusp of some of the younger generations are
at this time unfriending me or cursing me out because how dare I challenge
their generation to bring back values such as respect, earning what you get,
contributing to society instead of making up your own society, telling them
their feelings are irrelevant, or calling them out for who they are and how
they act. If that’s the case, I have
made my point and so be it. Everyone of
these environments (spiders) is inter-webbed with the others. Everything is connected between these three
environments and the exponent of 3 is 27 meaning there are 27 different
interconnections. Leadership has
changed, but the core principals of effective leadership have been successful
for generations until recently. Now we
face generations who demand or feel they deserve a different approach, just because
they “feel” they are different. Once
again, hate to shock them but you’re not special, your feelings are not in
play, and a comfort hedgehog will not replace personal interaction and make the
world better for you as we are all the same….people in an ever changing world.
